How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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