wake up i wanna do it froggy style
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
