I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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