1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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