Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
