Reggie can tackle my bush.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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