have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
