you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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