that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
