Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
50% drunk capacity currently
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
