Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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