when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
