Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
