I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
