good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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