weddingsv make me drug and hornr
okay pat passed out under dana's car
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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