I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
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I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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