he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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