Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
