Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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