we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You took a bar mat shot.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
