mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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