I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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