I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
