Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
