we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
