I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
