Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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