bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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