you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
