i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
