Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So. Much. Porn.
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