if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.