he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
should my penis look like a turkey
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".