Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (585) Bad night (1419)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

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  (570): there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line. http://tfl.nu/z4vy
  Replies (23) Good night (733) Bad night (3866)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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  (630): just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol. http://tfl.nu/7wr8
  Replies (8) Good night (647) Bad night (3563)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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  (408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8
  Replies (41) Good night (6787) Bad night (1269)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

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  (570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv
  Replies (58) Good night (6097) Bad night (841)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?

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  (330): I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam! (1-330): is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar? http://tfl.nu/c4pf
  Replies (5) Good night (3913) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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  (317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz
  Replies (22) Good night (1728) Bad night (4576)
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  (914): View more from New York

  whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.

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  (914): whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again. http://tfl.nu/9run
  Replies (5) Good night (1810) Bad night (1277)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

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  (206): Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life. http://tfl.nu/nb15
  Replies (12) Good night (2467) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.

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  (847): Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring. http://tfl.nu/5gh0
  Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (811)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house

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  (612): I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house http://tfl.nu/z7wf
  Replies (5) Good night (1659) Bad night (424)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

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  (908): I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls (1-908): But you'll make an exception (908): probably not http://tfl.nu/9drh
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.

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  (406): My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college. http://tfl.nu/7goj
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"

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  (203): You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?" http://tfl.nu/cv6m
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Stop watching porn on my work computer.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.

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  (314): Stop watching porn on my work computer. (1-314): STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER. http://tfl.nu/jsny
  Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (262)

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