Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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