Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
