he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
