honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
