I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
