in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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