I smell stomach acid.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
