I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How many fucks given?
0.12846
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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