i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
