This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Alive.
So much puke
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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