No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
