the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
