I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
