My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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