Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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