i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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