My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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