You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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