I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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