I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
