so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't shave. On purpose
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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