I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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