Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
