DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
