How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
