I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
